Jace and Alec
by Storminme
Summary: It starts at the wedding scene where Alec choose Jace instead of Magnus. And how their lives shape up from that turning point. (Apologies for the wonky english... Am working on it)
1. Chapter 1

Alec and Jace

Alec couldn't think. His heart was pounding in his ears. His thoughts were a blur as he struggled to regain calm. It was a f**king hurricane inside of him, but outwards he looked impassive. Or so he hoped.

Lydia stood one arm away from him, but there seemed to be an invisible veil in between that made her seem so distant. They were at the altar. Their families and friends were gathered in front of them, for their wedding.

Now was not the time to make a nervous breakdown. Breath. He told himself. I have to hold it in for 5 more minutes, and then... And then, what? Okay, that trail of thoughts did not work out. Shit. Okay, don't think. Don't analyse. Don't feel. Come on Alec. Look at your shoes. They look familiar. They don't look threatening. No... It's okay. He can ride through this.

Suddenly there was a hush, and the quiet chattering around them stopped. The silent brother must have arrived Alec deduced. Lest his nerves get to him, Alec resumed his line of thoughts again. Where was he? Yes. Shoes. They are shiny. Too shiny. What else? Shoe laces. Nice knot. Jace tied it. Jace. Oh Jace. Why? Why? Why did he have to think of Jace now? He was going to lose it, again. Shit.

Alec closed his eyes to collect himself. But now, all he could think about was Jace. He sensed him standing a little behind him. His best man. Oh why was this so difficult? If only time stopped for a minute and he could get his thoughts collected (whitewash everything with shadow hunter propaganda) without people noticing.

Alec missed his bow and arrow. He missed the surety and how grounded he felt when he released an arrow and knew it was going to hit its mark.

He prayed to the angel. He did not even realise it until he caught himself praying for forgiveness. But forgiveness for what? Forgiveness that he wasn't strong enough. Forgiveness that he felt like a hypocrite. For not living up to his own beliefs and ideals. Forgiveness that he cannot help but love Jace. For standing on altar for his marriage, yet all he could think about was Jace.

I have to do this. Please give me the strength to do this. He prayed.

And then perhaps the angel heard his prayer. A door opened somewhere in the back. It followed by fast approaching footsteps. They stopped somewhere on the aisle behind Alec. Izzy gasped and Jace shifted on his feet. Alec did not have to turn around, he knew who those steps belonged to. Magnus Bane.

His brain made a sarcastic note: How ironic the angel sent him Magnus Bane, a warlock… A child of Lilith. He felt a slight relief and unclenched his fists, unaware he was clenching them so tightly. If not anything else, Magnus had bought him a few more minutes. He felt stronger.

Magnus's presence felt like a pair of hands holding him steady, while he precariously dangled over the edge of a cliff. Magnus knew him. Magnus saw him for who he was. He knew Alec's big secret. And had accepted him without judgement. He did not rouse a storm inside Alec like the others did. Magnus did not hurt.

He turned around, not sure how he should react, and looked up.

Magnus was standing halfway to the altar. His hands raised in front of him like a cat about to pounce. His fingertips were crackling with sparks of blue magic. And hair stood up in perfect spikes. Magnus looked tall and dark and handsome and glittery and all things wonderful.

The hurricane inside him was growing smaller, and Alec wondered if it was magic. Magnus smirked at him. And Alec almost smiled back, but his shadowhunter-ness only allowed him to scrawl...

Jace who was quiet all this time, suddenly shifted closer to Alec. "You going to be alright buddy?"

Alec couldn't help but sigh at his pathetic jolt of joy. Jace was worried for him.

But, right now... Alec had to take the steps down and reach Magnus. Magnus could take the driver's seat for a little while. Magnus was safe and in control, and not the emotional wreck that he was right now. Yah that felt safe. Magnus was safe… And comforting… And… He liked Alec… All good then? Yes, Magnus was what he needed. With Magnus he could be himself and… Himself? Without Jace?

Stop it Alec, you can't fool yourself… TWICE… Said a quiet voice in his head…

No, he didn't have time for this. Reasons. Logic. That's what he needed. He could deal with feelings later. He checked himself mentally… Focus. Magnus was good. Magnus was no conflict... Magnus was…. Waiting… Magnus was… Magnus was what? Magnus wasn't …. Jace.

Magnus was relief, but Jace was home. But home wasn't always the cocoon you need it to be. Alec couldn't hope despite himself that it was Jace, his Jace, his Parabatia, his best friend and his soul mate that was standing in front of him, where Magnus stood. And he cursed himself and closed his eyes.

Magnus snapped his fingers suddenly and the hall grew even quitter than a moment before. Alec looked up surprised. Everyone seemed to have frozen around them.

Magnus hadn't moved an inch but there was now a questioning look in his eyes now. They looked at each other for a long time. Alec tried to say something reassuring to Magnus. That he was getting there. To just give him a moment. He can fight this. But his feet weren't co-operating.

Suddenly he heard Magnus in his head. "Alexander, its okay... You cannot help who you love".

Alec felt a chill spread through him. He stared at Magnus.

He knew? But how? Did he say something without meaning to? He was puzzled and what? Ashamed? And guilty? Could Magnus have seen right through him?

Alec knew why Magnus was here. He had guessed how Magnus possibly felt towards him. He also knew Magnus was risking so much by breaking into the institute for him.

Alec wanted to make it right. He had to do his duty. Duty? Duty to what? He was fooling himself. This war between his heart and his brain was making him loose his sense of duty. Magnus wasn't duty, he was Alec's choice. Right? He wanted to reciprocate these feelings. He had to. Magnus was the right one for him. Right?

But… But for the life of him, he just could not replace Jace with Magnus.

Alec felt the world swimming in front of his eyes. This war inside of him had turned his brief moment of peace into an inferno. Again... Focus Alec. He had to choose Magnus. That was the answer. He needed to work backwards from there. This was the right thing to do from here. Magnus was risking his own reputation for him. And perhaps more.

Alec took another determined step towards him.

Magnus spoke quietly "Alexander, stop… Stop fighting it… Don't do this to yourself…"

Magnus words were meant to comfort Alec, but he felt out of control. His thoughts were wrong. This was not how he wanted to feel.

"Alec…" Magnus sighed. "You are doing nothing wrong…"

Nothing wrong? Alec looked incredulous. How Magnus answer what he was thinking? Besides... He was about to break up a wedding with someone who had done nothing but help him. In front of his mother. In front of both their families. Not to mention the members of the clave. And there was no going back. Magnus had gone out on a limb to save him from himself. And he was grateful. Yet… He was out of control… He was being weak. Weak. Why couldn't he walk away from Jace to Magnus? He owed it to Magnus. Everything was wrong.

But… Said a small voice in his head. It would be wrong to Magnus. Because you will never get over Jace. And you know it.

Jace, with his devil may care attitude and caustic sarcasm that Alec knew was only a facade. Jace vulnerable and broken down that only Alec was allowed to see. Jace with his jagged scars and re-joined fractures, each a story that only Alec knew. Jace with his pure and loyal heart that Alec felt every moment through his bond. Jace with his snobbish remarks and that wicked grin that Alec loved… And those golden eyes... Their warmth that Alec basked in… Their depth that Alec drowned in... Their pain that Alec felt with them... Their love that Alec longed for... Those moments when Jace let his guard down, and Alec felt his joy and his sorrow through their bond… And those long silences when nothing needed to be said because they understood each other perfectly...

Who was Alec fooling? Jace was his very soul. And he couldn't get over him. Ever.

Magnus cleared his throat. Alec's trance broke.

"I can hear your thoughts you know?"

Alec looked shocked... What? What? What? Shit.

He finally found his voice… "What?"

Magnus sighed. Alec took a step towards him when he was unable to find the right words.

Magnus smiled slowly… And was that a hint of sadness Alec detected?

"Its how this spell works you know… I am sorry I do not mean to pry."

Alec could only stare as realisation crashed over him. He opened and closed his mouth when no words came out of his mouth. He did not know what he could possibly say to Magnus now.

He managed another step towards Magnus before trying again… In a stronger voice (he hoped) "No Magnus, you don't understand…" He shifted on his feet. "Magnus. I want to… This is… Magnus, this is my choi..."

Magnus held up a hand. And Alec stopped. Yes, that was sadness in his eyes, Alec knew that only too well. Before Alec could form his next words, Magnus came forward and stood in front of him...

Alec did not hear Magnus move his lips, but heard him clearly in his mind.

"Alexander, it is okay. You love Jace, and you have always loved him."

Magnus was saying all the words that Alec had never dared to say out loud. He flinched as if the words physically hit him. Magnus sighed and put a hand on his cheek. He knows thought Alec. He closed his eyes. He knew he was defeated, there was no more running and hiding.

"Magnus... I" But Magnus stopped him with a finger to his lips. Alec forced himself to look up again.

Magnus smiled that sad smile again and spoke in his mind "Shh... Alexander… I can read your thoughts remember?"

Alec pleaded with his eyes... Hoping Magnus could hear them "Magnus if you just give me some more time… I will get there... I know I will".

Magnus sighed and looked at Alec "Alec… Don't fight it. It's okay…"

He placed his hands on Alec's shoulders. "You are afraid Jace will never love you… The way you do…" Alec didn't flinch this time.

"That's why you want to come with me…" Alec felt shame engulf him.

Magnus squeezed his shoulders "its okay Alexander… I understand"

Alec felt eyes stinging dangerously… "No Magnus. That's not…"

Magnus gripped his arms suddenly. "Alexander. Stop this non sense. You love him. You tell him. You accept his answer. And you deal with it."

Alec nodded a little startled and perhaps a little rebellious.

Magnus sighed. Clearly the hard way doesn't work with these stubborn Lightwoods. So let's try the soft way again.

"Alec… You must have more faith in your heart… You might be surprised"

Alec was too fazed to make sense of Magnus now. What? What was that supposed to mean? Were warlocks always this confusing? Perhaps he was too eager to jump to conclusions and Magnus was just telling him to get moving.

Lost in his thoughts he missed Magnus's sarcastic eye roll.

He looked at Magnus and contemplated if what he was going to ask next was even appropriate?

Magnus smiled "Yes I know I am an excellent advisor and your friend. You can come to me anytime you need to talk"

Alec couldn't help suppress the smile at this. "Why couldn't I have loved you?"

Magus chuckled "Because you are a fool. And because Magnus Bane is wayyyy out of your league"

The mood lightened and Alec joined his chuckling "You must weigh a tonne with all that ego?"

Magnus feigned to be offended and the two hugged each other. Alec felt exhausted like a steam roller had crushed him, but he was no longer conflicted. He knew that things must turned out this way for the best. And despite everything, it felt right to not drag Magnus into his turmoil. Magnus deserved someone who loved him with all their heart. And Alec just wasn't the one. Maybe Jace did not feel what Alec did, but they were always going to be Parabatia. They would always share that bond. And that was enough. For now.

Alec missed Magnus's eye roll for the second time, consumed in his thoughts.

"Now Alexander, I must wipe a few memories and get going"

Alec started "What?"

But Magnus had already started retracing his steps to the door while shooting darts of blue magic along the rows. "I have a reputation to match my ego you know… Magnus Bane is far too occupied to crash weddings…"

Alec laughed… Then realising Magnus was wiping memories stopped abruptly.

"Don't worry... I am not going to touch yours… Otherwise you will go straight back to that bumbling idiot that you were 5 minutes ago"

Alec rolled his eyes. Magnus turned at the door "I saw that"

Alec shrugged. "That's everybody… And oh …"Magnus sent a flash blue directly behind Alec, and then he was gone. Alec turned to see Jace looking a little dazed and mumbling "What the…"

Behind him the hall was coming to life again and Alec met the confused eyes of Lydia and Izzy. He carefully avoided Jace's now. Alec waited a few minutes for everyone to settle down again. He knew what he had to do. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention (still avoiding Jace's eyes). Alec note that but he was feeling the unusual sense of calm one feels before a major battle.

He turned to face Lydia, and felt waves of guilt crashing over him. But this was less cruel than what he was trying to do a little while ago. With this conviction, he took put his hands on her shoulder as a comrade would on a battle field and said very softly "I am sorry Lydia. I cannot do this. We both deserve better".

Lydia looks down and sighed, then squeezed Alec's arms gave him a quick hug and whispered in his ear "I know. We do." She smiled a tiny smile at Alec before turning to walk away from the altar.

Now, Alec turned to meet Jace's eyes squarely. Making sure he had his full attention, he turned to the crowd and said in his quiet confident voice. "I am sorry, but this wedding is not taking place".

Alec heard the audible collection of gasps. But he wasn't concerned about that now.

He needed to speak to Jace. Alone. And he hoped Jace would follow him.

He turned to take the small door on the side of the hall and intentionally brushed past Jace as he quietly whispered "Come with me".

He felt relief when he heard Jace's hurried footsteps behind him after a moment and a door shutting to drown the voices from the hall. He took many flights of stairs and did not stop climbing until he reached the roof of the institute.

Jace was still following him. Good. Alec wasn't sure how to handle the conversation from this point. But he was determined to get it over with before he lost his courage again.

He leaned against the wall, and looked up as Jace took the final steps to the landing and came to stand in front of him. His face was unreadable. Alec braced himself and took a deep breath.

But then… Jace said something Alec would have never expected in his wildest dreams.

'Do you still love me?'

Alec stood frozen. Not even daring to breath. Surely he misheard something.

What? Jace looked at him, his eyebrows furrowed together. His eyes blazing with a fiery intensity and at the same time… So vulnerable?

He slowly held up his hands as if to reach for Alec but then stopped midway. Almost as if he was afraid of Alec... Afraid of Alec? Alec tried to understand the meaning of what Jace had just said and this behaviour. This was his Parabatia. Alec knew him like the back of his hand, and yet he couldn't read Jace at this moment.

The only time Alec had ever seen Jace so… Uncomfortable… No, exposed… Was when he had first arrived at their house. Standing on the doorway when Alec opened the door. 15 years ago.

Alec wanted to reach out and comfort Jace. And protect him from whatever was causing him this pain and anguish, He wanted to take him in his arms and give him his strength. Heal him with his love and cure Jace so that he was strong again.

He held Jace's stare and tried to think... To feel... To understand what was going on… What had Jace said just now "did he love him?" What did he mean? He couldn't mean that. No. They were Parabatia in Jace's head. And surely he knew Alec would love him no matter what... Even if Jace could never understand the kind of love Alec felt for him.

"Jace, I don't understand"... Jace continued to stare at him, his eyes giving away signs of an inner turmoil that was going on. And Alec knew about inner turmoil only too well.

He thought of saying something to reassure him… "Jace, we are Parabatia... I will always love you..."

Jace shook his head… "No" And started back…

Alec made to reach out for him but Jace looked like he would run if Alec moved again.

He knew Jace too well. So Alec, leaned back against the wall again despite his heart telling him otherwise. Chasing Jace would only push him away. Step back, and let him come to you. Give him space.

"Okay… What's going on? You are acting weird" Jace broke into a smile "Really? You get to ask me that question?"

Alec smiled. Good… Jace was relaxing. Alec shrugged and looked at his shoes… But what did Jace mean by what he just said? And how on Earth was he supposed to start that other conversation he needed to? The really important one? He missed his arrow and bow.

He looked up as Jace took a tentative step towards Alec. His face had changed. He still looked afraid of whatever he was about to say, but his eyes showed determination now. Alec tried to prepare himself. He knew whatever Jace was going to say was going to crush him, but he was going to listen to him anyway.

Jace's eyes were boring into him "Magnus"

Alec started… Jace remembers Magnus? Didn't Magnus wipe everyone's memories? He looked at Jace confused and afraid of what was going to happen next. "Um… He spoke to me when I was at the altar"

Alec tried to make sense of that... "He said to stop fooling myself"

Alec did not have time to make sense of all he was hearing because Jace now seemed determined to say what was on him mind now...

Jace took another step closer and continued... "He told me that you… That you love me."

Alec felt his blood freeze.

"And... And, Alec. I cannot pretend anymore. I love you too." Alec felt numb.

Jace closed his eyes. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

Alec dared not breathe lest the spell be broken. Jace opened his eyes but now they were shining with unshed tears. Alec wanted to reach out to Jace but was paralysed and his body dared not move…

Jace took another step closer… They were almost touching now, and Alec could see the streaks of brown in Jace's eyes. His voice quivered threateningly, but Jace went on "Alec… To love might be to be destroyed, but I want to be destroyed if it's for you. I cannot deny how I feel about you anymore"

Alec shuddered.

Jace went on, "The moment I saw you at the altar, I have been screaming inside of me… That you not marry Lydia. And then I heard Magnus in my head… I know how he feels about you… But he said... That you love me"

Jace's hands reached out for Alec's. "And I dared to believe him. Alec… I love you… I have always loved you. I fought it. For so long. But at the altar… Alec, I cannot stand to see you with anyone else. I…"

Jace gripped Alec's arms tightly, "I don't want to be your Parabatia anymore. I don't just want to be JUST your Parabatia anymore. I want more. I want everything. I want you…."

Jace stopped and looked at Alec with hopeful and tired eyes, imploring him with them to respond. But Alec stood still. In shock. His mind was working slowly. His heart thumping loudly. He drowned and drowned in Jace's eyes. He lost all sense of time. His stomach churned and churned. The world went blank around him except for the golden eyes. And then Jace's knees gave way suddenly. He stumbled to the floor, his eyes wide with shock. Alec caught him instinctively and held him against his chest. Jace started shaking and then sobbing softly. "Alec, please say something".

Alec held on to Jace unable to believe what just transpired between them. He slid down to the floor with Jace in his arms. His heart had already understood what Jace was saying, but his mind was still catching up. Jace loved him? Him? Alec? It just didn't make sense. How can Jace love him? What was he missing? Maybe his feelings were making him delusional. Maybe this was all a dream. A dream of desperation. But Jace felt so real… In his arms… His weight as he slumped on Alec could not be his imagination. His sobs against Alec's shoulder weren't his imagination. Jace loved him. Not like a Parabatia. But more. Jace… His Jace loved him...

After a long time sitting on the floor, with Jace in his arms, Alec felt Jace move. Jace had finally stopped sobbing, and stayed against Alec's shoulder…

"Alec…" Jace's voice was muffled against Alec's suit.

Alec was absently patting Jace's shoulder "Yah…"

Jace shifted to look up at Alec "Please say something…"

Alec looked down at Jace. Mind processing hard… This was not a dream. This was happening. For real. He felt himself drowning in the pure molten gold eyes again… Until Jace started to sit up and pull away from Alec.

"It's okay Alec. I am making a fool of myself. I understand you d…"

Finally something in Alec synchronised his head to his heart. Perhaps it was the pain of unrequited love in Jace's voice that Alec knew so well… Alec made Jace sit up so they were looking at each other. He cupped Jace's face in his hands, and touched their foreheads together. "Ask me again"

Jace looked confused, but then understood. They were Parabatia after all. "Do you still love me?"

Alec scoffed softly. ''Si... Always''.

He kissed away Jace's tears, and ran his fingers along his cheek bones. He languidly placed an arm on Jace's shoulders and with the other he lifted Jace's chin. And closed the gap between them. And as their lips met, the heavens opened up.

Rain poured in buckets around them, but neither of them cared. Jace welcomed Alec's kiss, and wrapped his arms around him. He wanted to be closer and closer to Alec. He struggled to get closer. He cuddled up and got onto Alec's lap, then drew Alec's arms around him and pulled his knees up to him, so that he was inside a cocoon of Alec.

He kissed him with everything he had. And Alec kissed him back.

But it still wasn't enough. He wanted to feel more. To give more. To make Alec understand how he felt and what he would do for him.

Suddenly both felt their Parabatia runes heated up. And Alec could see Jace on the back of his closed eyelids. He saw every glance and touch Jace stole over the years that Alec had overlooked as brotherly affection. He heard every thought that Jace had of Alec that he never dared to believe.

Jace felt the purity and depth of Alec's love for him. He drowned in them and revelled in them. He felt what Alec had felt all these years. The love, the pain, the happiness, the hurt, the resignation, the hope. He felt Alec in all his Aleciness.

Their hearts beats together, and finally it felt like they were close enough.

They stayed together for a long time. The rain had stopped, so it must have been hours… The clouds broke out for the moonlight to shine on them casting their strange elegant shadows on the floor… And they finally parted.

Alec held Jace tightly, and rested his head on his shoulder to sigh softly. "I love you Jace. You idiot. I love you. You hear me? I have always and only ever loved you."

Jace sighed softly and pulled Alec into a tight hug "And I love you my Alec. I have always loved you. I was a coward and denied it and look where that got us".

Alec couldn't help but scoff. "That's why I called you an idiot".

They let their wrapped arms stay around each other and rested their heads together, both chuckling and comforted in the warmth of each other… Content to hear each other's heartbeats.

This was home. And there was nothing in the whole entire world that they couldn't face together. They had each other now. Alec had his Jace, and Jace had his Alec.


	2. Chapter 2

Jace and Alec

It was pretty late by the time Jace and Alec got down from the roof, and started towards their rooms. Jace was still coming to terms with the events of the past few hours, as they took the stairs back to the institute and reality. As they walked down the corridor, Jace realised Alec was holding his left hand in his right. He felt his face starting to heat up as he got hyperaware of Alec's fingers holding his.

Alec gave him a side look suddenly, and came to stop. "What's wrong?" Jace shook his head. "Nothing. What do you mean?" Alec was frowning now, and hesitatingly started to walk again. Jace followed, noting again that Alec was still holding on to his hand. He tried to suppress the grin that was creeping on his lips, and tried to work his blush away. Alec suddenly turned around and Jace almost walked into him. "What is it Jace?" Jace on his part had barely managed to not walk into Alec and reflexively said "What is with these sudden stops Alec?" Then registering Alec's question, he replied "What do you mean what is it? What are you talking about?" Alec gave him a good no nonsense stare, then opened his mouth to say something. Then seemed to think better of himself, and closed it again as he looked down at his feet.

Jace was growing puzzled by the second. So he tried again "Alec, I know we are parabatai and all… But dude, you gotta use your words sometimes. I can't read your thoughts from here". This seemed to bring Alec back to reality as he chuckled and looked up. Then he looked down to where their fingers were still intertwined. He took Jace's hands in both of his and raised it to brush them against his lips. "It's your hand. You got stiff just back now". He looked up into Jace's eyes lost in thought, then suddenly seemed to pull himself together. "Am I making you uncomfortable? Oh... I..." And he let go of the fingers, looking away.

Jace was so amazed at how attentive Alec was to his every detail, that he was at a loss of words. As Alec let go of his hands, he felt the cold air and immediately missed the warmth from a moment ago. He couldn't help the smile that crept from the sudden warm feeling in his heart. He cupped Alec's face in his hands, and brought their foreheads together. "No. You are not."

Alec stopped breathing. Jace was so close to him. And they were standing in the middle of the institute corridor. Anyone could walk in on them just now. Was Jace crazy? And then Jace pressed his lips to Alec's, giving him a chaste kiss before pulling back chuckling. He ran his fingers through his (gorgeous) hair chuckling "Oh sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?" Then laughing he took hold of Alec's hand again and continued down the corridor.

Alec shook his head as he was pulled away, not being able to help a smile himself. But he quickly checked himself.

Down the corridor, Alec's door was one ahead of Jace's. As they reached his door, Alec smartly opened his door with his free hand, and whirled Jace inside and against the door. Now in the confines of his room, and in the safety of the dark he retaliated. Jace only managed a startled "What the f…" Before Alec's lips were on his. Jace suddenly found himself pinned between Alec and the door. He felt a thrill go down his spine as he door moved behind him and closed with a snap. In the darkness, he was hyper aware of the wetness of Alec's mouth on his. He responded by opening his mouth, and felt Alec invade him immediately. His fingers were on his hips and Alec's was plastered to the door on both sides of his head. Jace lost himself in the kiss and closed his eyes, not that there was anything to see in the dark anyways. Alec pushed a leg between his, as he stepped in closer, one of his hands running through his hair, and settled on his neck. Jace couldn't help another shiver down his spine, and wondered vaguely if Alec felt it. They lost track of time, fingers hesitatingly exploring each other in the dark, their kisses oscillating between intense and sloppy. Jace was content to stand in the dark and feel Alec's fingers tracing down lines along his neck and chasing them with his lips He shuddered when he felt Alec's teeth graze him every now and then, and drowned in Alec's scent that seemed to surround him. Finally, Alec stopped at his collar bone, and Jace tried to battle between want and disappointment. He tightened his arms around Alec, as he felt Alec bury is face at his neck. They stayed tightly wrapped holding on to each other for some time. Jace realised Alec was leaning down on him with his weight, and he liked it. It made him feel anchored and loved. He sighed in contentment and smiled into the darkness.

"I love you my Parabatai. I love you… So badly" Alec whispered into his neck, leaning further onto Jace. Jace's arms had loosened around Alec while they stood in the dark. And now as he ran light patterns onto Alec's back, he whispered "I love you too my Alec". He felt Alec sigh. He felt Alec's warmth transferring to his body. He felt Alec's smell envelope him and give him a new sense of serenity. He felt Alec's arms around him, and felt like he belonged there. This was exactly where he wanted to be. He whispered again "I love you Alec. More than I can tell you…"

Jace went back to his room later than night. There were too many questions they needed to answer together. Too many situations they need to solve together. Too many people they had to confront together. There was so much unfamiliarity and unknown surrounding them, and they had to find their way through it. But that was alright. They had each other now. And the world did not seem such a dark cold place anymore. Even if every single thing went wrong, they still had each other. And that was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Izzy

Alec woke up the next morning with Izzy banging on the door. "Aleccc… Are you in there? Why is your door locked? You never lock your door… Let me innnn… Or I swear I will break it down…" Alec rubbed his eyes, and sat up. The pounding on the door got louder. "Big bro! Why won't you answer me? I know you are in there… Are you okayyyy?"

Suddenly a very irritated voice called from down the corridor "IZZY! For god sakes… It's not even 4 in the morning, woman! What is wrong with you?"

Jace! Alec registered… The events of the past night all flashed through his mind, and suddenly he felt wide awake.

Outside his door, his siblings… Correction… Sibling and Jace… Continued. "But I am so worried. I need to know if my big bro is even alive after yesterday… Alecccccccc… Why won't you answer me?" Followed by some more pounding…

Alec sighed inside the safety of his room, taking in the last few seconds of sweet solitude before heading for the door. Outside Jace continued "Of course he is alive Izzy! You can't die from walking out of your wedding… He's sleeping. Leave him alone. Now off to your room before I completely lose mine and come pull your hair"... But Izzy was no ordinary 13 year old. She was feisty to begin with… "Jace, stop being such a…"

At that moment Alec opened the door. And a squeal and blur of black tresses flew at him immediately. Next moment, Izzy had tackled him to the ground. "Big brother, you are alive after all" Izzy hugged him with all her might. "I was so worried Alec. After you left yesterday, I looked everywhere for you… I couldn't find you… My tracking said you were at the institute but I had looked everywhere already… I couldn't find Jace… Your phone was out of reach… I called Magnus... He didn't have you… I went looking on the streets… Oh big brother!" She gave Alec another tight hug… "I thought you had done something stupid… I am so relieved you are alright…"

Alec felt really crappy about making Izzy so worried. He hugged her and tried to console her "I am sorry Izzy… I should have known you worry and go looking for me. I am sor"… He winced as a punch landed on his stomach… Izzy had had graduated to talking with her fist now… "You idiot… You dummy… You stupid stupid…" She punched Alec after each offence… "Ouch… Ouchh… Ugh… Ouch…" Alec tried to block the punches, but Izzy was too fast and Alec still sluggish after sleep. Suddenly Jace came into the room and scooped Izzy up. "Izz… Stop punching him… You are such a drama queen…"

But Alec saw the Izzy's eyes shining with tears. He got up from the floor and put his arms around her "Izzy?" His sister finally stopped struggling and looked at him with defiant eyes…

"I am sorry" Alec really meant it. He did not realised his sister would be so troubled by his absence. He really felt crappy and selfish right then.

Suddenly Izzy burst into tears. "I thought,,, I thought you had jumped off a building or something Alec… I know… I know why you and Lydia… And I thought you were going to do something stupid after it… And with mom reacting that way… And dad didn't help… And… And I couldn't find you" She burst into a fresh set of tears again. Alec took Izzy onto his lap and cradled her… Jace looked very stricken, and awkwardly patted her head as Izzy continued wailing in Alec's arms… "Shh Izzy… I am sorry… I am so sorry… Its okay my dear sis… I am here now".

After some very loud sniffs and soaking the front of Alec's T-shirt with tears, snot and what not, Izzy finally straightened up.

"I am okay." She managed in a small voice. Then remembering she was supposed to be angry and her speech of irresponsible behaviour that she meant to deliver if she found her big bro… She pulled herself up to her full height and looked at Alec

"You are almost 18 years old Alec, and almost an adult. Disappearing without a word or a note for 12 hours to your family! Is that responsible behaviour? You could at the very least…"

But what Alec could do at the very least was lost as Jace pulled Izzy into a bear hug and coaxed her "Aww Izz… You think you are so tough and adult giving Alec a speech on responsibility… When you are just a big old softie worried about her big bro" Jace chuckled trying to lighten the mood…

Izzy managed to fight her way out of Jace's hug while Alec smiled catching on… He pulled Izzy into a hug and tittered "And let's not forget all the times she was sneaking in after those late night dates and got herself locked out… Until we snuck her back in without mum finding out…"

Izzy fought her way out of Alec's arms only to be captured by Jace again who continued "Oh and let's not forget how she is always late to the trainings because she can't match her shoe to her skirt or whip or handkerchief or whatever…"

Izzy had given up fighting Jace and was now resorted to staring daggers at her brothers… Alec continued, "Oh but that has stopped of late… Izzy is always on time now with that Simon boy joining the institute…"

Jace gave a mock shudder "What does she see in that dork though… Ugh… To think my sister making googly eyes at a dork"…

Alec was grinning and it was infectious… And Izzy was having a hard time keeping up her anger…

Finally she shouted "OHHH! Shut up you two"… Alec tried to look very serious as he told his parabatai "I think we insulted her dork just now… She wants us to shut up about him..."

Jace feigned insult and defensive... "Well I though nerd was an improvement over four eyes"

Izzy was giggling now "Oh shut up Jace… You know Simon doesn't wear glasses anymore… He's got contacts"

Alec was genuinely surprised now "He's got contracts? For his eyes? To do what?"

Izzy was giggling openly now… "Not contracts you idiot… Contacts… It's a plastic thing you put into your eyes so you can see without glasses"

Both her brothers looked horrified now "That sounds painful" Jace said while Alec continued to look shocked…

"It's not... And we are getting off the point here… Coming back to you big bro…" She looked at him reproachfully. "Are you okay?"

Alec patted his sister on the head and smiled "Sometimes I forget I am your big brother and I should be looking out for you… Not the other way around"

Izzy huffed… Alec smiled down at her sister "I am alright Izz… I am sorry I got you so upset… But I am alright".

Izzy smiled but then concern clouded her face again… "Do you want to get some ice cream and talk about it?"

Alec chuckled as he looked at Jace… Jace shook his head from side to side and walked out of the room. They heard him call from the corridor "Do you want the Rocky Road or the Honeycomb?"

Izzy shouted "Cookie dough" and jumped onto Alec's bead… Alec climbed in beside his sister and remembered the times from his childhood when he and Jace and Izzy used to hang out together like this. He smiled at those fond memories from a time so long ago…

Izzy pulled pillows around her and looked content sitting against Alec as they waited for Jace to return with the ice cream and spoons.

Soon they were all settled comfortably on Alec's bed with a tub of ice cream in the middle, with Izzy steadily digging her way through her side.

Alec was looking at Jace trying to assess, what to say. Jace smirked at Alec, trying to not show his nervousness. He hadn't had enough time to process the past few hours himself, but he trusted Alec would know best.

Alec took that as a sign that Jace was okay with whatever Alec wanted to say. He looked at Izzy as she continued burrowing through the ice cream and tried to gather his thoughts. They sat in silence for some time, and Alec kept sneaking looks at Jace trying to seek reassurance on how much should he say.

Finally after a good 15 minutes, Izzy looked up and said "Is anyone going to say anything or what?"

Her brothers exchanged looks again… She trudged onwards "Well, maybe we can start from the easy stuff… Like where were you Jace?"

Again her brothers exchanged a look… Izzy looked at Alec, a vague suspicion forming in her mind

"Okay, how about… Were you with Alec?" Jace looked at Izzy frowning… "Yah… I was with Alec", and looked back at Alec. He seemed to be attempting some sort of a nonverbal communication with him, but Jace didn't understand a thing.

Izzy looked at Alec and then at her other brother… Something had changed… They were looking at each other funny… Subtly different. Almost like there was something new which wasn't there before. Like how Izzy sometimes caught Simon look at her across the room. Izzy gasped "Oh my god!"

Alec knew Izzy had put her finger on the string the same moment. He put his hands up and said in what he hoped was a calm voice "Izz… Please don't scream…"

"OH MY GAWDDDDDDD"

The spoon from Izzy's hand went flying to some corner of the room. Jace looked like a deer caught in headlight and Alec looked for his spare blanket so that he could bury Izzy under it till she calmed down.

"YOU TOLD HIM?" Izzy shrieked tugging Alec's sleeve… And getting too excited to sit got up on the bed…

Alec looked at Jace... Eyes pleading for help, but Jace was just staring at Izzy in shock... Alec looked for something to do with his hands and decided to move the tub of cream from the middle lest his over excited and apparently extremely smart sister knocked it over.

He turned to put the accident-waiting-to-happen on his bedside table, while Izzy continued to shriek "I can't believe this... Oh my god… FINALLY"

Jace at this point seemed to recover his ability to use his vocal cords again… "Um Izz?"

Izzy looked at him as if she suddenly saw him in a whole new light… "And you Jace! I would have never thought…" Izzy squealed and jumped on him…

Jace had the same deer caught in headlight expression on his face again. He looked at Alec to take some control of the situation, while Izzy nearly chocked him in her hug.

Alec who had grown quiet this whole time suddenly burst out laughing… He couldn't help the happiness he felt to have his sister in on this chapter of his life. And it all came down to that. It's true, none of this happened the way he predicted or had hoped, but there they were… The three of them sitting on his bed… All secrets out in the open. He loved Jace. Jace loved him. And Izzy was with them. Nothing was more important than those three things to Alec right then. He knew he had a tough battle ahead, starting with his parents and then the society. But he had one tiny feisty and undeterred supporter in his little sister, and he had Jace. That was all that mattered. He felt light at heart.

He put his arms around Izzy and Jace, and soon all three of them were all laughing together.

Jace had put his arms around Izzy while Alec hugged them both. He had stopped laughing, and was content sinking in the embrace of the two people who were the closest to him. He was happy. A happy that ran through all his veins and arteries and capillaries to every corner of his body. He felt included and no longer an outsider. He silently thanked the angel for this feeling, and for bringing him into Alec and Izzy's life. He closed his eyes smiling, and leaned his head against Alec's.

Izzy had stopped making any movements in Jace's arms, and Alec noted that she had fallen asleep. He scooped up his little sister from Jace, and tucked her comfortably under the blanket on his bed. He shifted to her right, and patted the bed to her left looking as Jace.

Jace looked at Alec, and climbed onto his side over Izzy. Alec turned off the lights, and pulled the blanket on all three of them. Under the blanket, Alec pulled Jace's arm over Izzy, and intertwined their fingers.

Jace felt warmed at th gesture, at Alec's affection along with careful caution. He sighed in contentment… And whispered into the darkness "I love to Alec".

Alec too smiled at Jace in the dark and squeezed his hand under the blanket "I love you too."

Soon all three of the siblings (adopted or not) of the Lightwood family were in deep sweet sleep. While holding on to each other. And that's how Maryse found them the next morning (along with a tub of completely molten ice-cream).


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Just Another Day

It was just another day… And a little more…

Training was always the first thing on shadow hunter's daily agenda. Alec woke up and switched the alarm off at 3:52 am. He always set his alarm 8 minutes early, because he liked to start his training at 4 am sharp.

It took him 3 minutes to brush his teeth and freshen up. 1 minute to dress. 1 minutes to make his bed and be out of his room. 1 minute knocking at Jace's door until he heard protest and sounds of movement from inside. 1 minute to to repeat it at Izzy's door. And the last minute to walk into the training room and watch the second hand on the wall clock tick towards the 12 mark.

Today was no different as Alec stepped into the training room, and he felt his usual sense of satisfaction as he watched the second hand on the clock.

He mentally went over his training for yesterday and decided that he was going to catch up on his cardio today. He had spent the past week coming up with an ambitious routine involving sprints and jumping rope, and today seemed a good time to try it. Jace had laughed when he saw the routine, but Alec was convinced this would help them both with their stamina and recovery, something they could improve in Alec's opinion. It didn't matter that Jace disagreed. Jace always disagreed with Alec. Alec could depend on that, and always made sound logical decisions thanks to that. He mentally chided himself for getting side-tracked.

Alec filled up his water bottle and unzipped his training bag, setting his things on the bench in a neat line. He pulled out his workout plan and was skimming through it, when he heard Jace walk up behind him yawning. He continued memorising his plan, as Jace made a bee line for the protein bars Alec had laid out on his towel. Alec shook his head as he heard Jace rip open the wrapper and noisily chew. Alec decided it was best to ignore him, and spared himself the trouble of an unfruitful banter with Jace. He focused on memorising the plan, and then shoved it back into his bag. He grabbed his skipping rope and walked to the door leading to the outside running tracks. The sound of loud chewing followed him, and Alec shook his head and smiling absently, before checking himself.

When Jace had seen Alec's plan the past week, he had laughed and called it child's play. Sprint for 20 seconds and rest for a minute. Repeat 30 times! What was so difficult about that?

Well… Turned out it wasn't child's play. At all he decided as he tried to catch his breath after the 4th round. The 20 seconds did not seem to tick fast enough and the 60 seconds went way too fast. By the 8th time, Jace was convinced the watch was playing tricks on his mind, and by the 10th time, Jace was lying flat on the ground, completely out of breath.

And they were supposed to repeat it another 20 times!

As he lay on the ground, vaguely aware of Alec starting his sprint while panting heavily, he was convinced that either Alec knew his training really well or he was crazy. He decided on the latter.

He managed to roll onto his side and watch Alec as he stopped his sprint and stood clutching his knees, his eyes focused on his wrist watch.

Jace noticed how the sweat dripped from Alec's hair and how Alec wiped it away from his eyes with the back of his hand. His eyes still intent on the watch. He saw how Alec forced himself to stand up straight and get ready for the next sprint. He saw how Alec put his left foot forward and crouched into a ready position. How Alec broke into a sprint again, his mouth partly open as he sucked in large gulps of air. How Alec slowed down when his wrist watch beeped, signalling 20 seconds. How Alec's T-shirt clung to his back, soaked in sweat, contoured about his strong broad shoulders. How pale Alec's legs looked against his back shorts. How exhausted yet mesmerising and delicate Alec looked as he pushed himself past his breaking point, forcing himself to dig deeper into his reserve.

Jace forgot they were on the training ground, that he had anything to do himself.

He watched and watched Alec. As if he was seeing him for the first time.

He saw how Alec stumbled when his leg almost gave way during one particular sprint, but Alec recovered and persevered. He saw how Alec gasped for air, forcing himself to stand straight instead of crouching. How he started to close his eyes as he sprinted, willing himself further. His fight with his own limits when he was totally spent. Jace could almost feel Alec's mental battle and physical exhaustion.

After the 20th round, Alec was no longer sprinting, but just managing to run, yet he persevered. By the 25th time, Alec was jogging, yet he persevered. By the 29th time, Alec was stumbling but managed to keep moving. On the 30th time, Alec ran with his last ounce of strength and immediately collapsed on the ground as his stop watch beeped.

And Jace was finally released from the spell.

He was starting to understand why he had fallen in love with Alec. Alec was the surest thing in his whole life. The one thing Jace could blindly believe in. He didn't even have to try. In fact, he had fought so hard from giving in, and yet here he was.

He picked up the water bottles beside him on the grass, and walked over to his Parabatai.

Alec was still gasping on the ground when Jace walked up to him. He used one arm to raise himself on the ground, and reached with the other for a bottle.

"I think I am having a heart attack" Alec gasped as a way of acknowledging Jace.

"Serves you right for making this ridiculous plan in the first place" said Jace as he sat down next tohis panting Parabatai.

"We haven't gotten to the crazy part yet" Alec gasped between gulps of air and water. "Next time we are skipping rope for 60 seconds between sprints".

Jace just stared at Alec.

Alec realised this and smiled at Jace "Okay, maybe not today" he gasped. "But I believe I made my point. This only proves we are BOTH out of shape" he panted.

"Are you planning to take on all the demons in existence by the end of the week or something?" Jace managing an even more incredulous look.

"You can joke all you want. But training is the most important thing for a shadow hunter. You of all people should know that. I can imagine Izzy protesting, but you know how this stuff is important when we are out on the …." Alec zealously rambled on, but Jace wasn't listening to him.

Up close, Alec looked more delicate thought Jace. His hair was darker, his skin still red from the activity and his cheek bones pronounced. The sweat glistened in his hair and dangerously threatened to drip into his eyes. Jace wanted to reach out, but Alec absently brushed it away with the back of his hand again. Jace's eyes followed the hand, as Alec rested it back on the grass, helping him keep his balance. Jace notices how close his hand lay next to his own. He could touch just it, if he moved his little finger.

And he did.

He felt an unnatural joy with the small action. He fought the smile that threatened the corners of his mouth.

Alec had stopped talking and was looking at their fingers, realised Jace. He followed how Alec's eyes travelled from their hands up to look at him. They seemed to hold a silent question. Jace was lost in this new found feeling of tenderness and love that Alec generate in him by such slight innocent actions.

They looked at each other silently, both waiting for the other to speak. But neither did.

Alec felt a thrill travel down his spine when he Jace's finger brushed his. Jace was looking at him, but he was unable to read them. Jace seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Alec wondered if Jace was aware that their hands were touching. Maybe he was being hyper aware of himself, and Jace did not realise it.

Well... Whatever it was, Alec revelled in it.

He was still figuring out how affection Jace was comfortable with. Because had it been up to Alec, he would have held Jace's hand every opportunity he got. Take him in his arms every moment Jace allowed it. Told Jace how much he loved him, to make up for all the lost times. Also, it did not help that their relation was not acceptable in their shadow hunter community. It complicated things between them, but so far they had navigated it well between themselves.

But for now, Alec felt himself drown in Jace's eyes.

Jace lowered his gaze to Alec's lips and doubted if he had imagined how Alec's finger stiffen on the grass.

"I wish I could kiss you right now" Jace said in a voice barely above a whisper. Jace silently congratulated himself for his bravery.

Alec on his part couldn't help the gasp that escaped him. It took an enormous amount of self-control to keep himself in check, and he almost hated himself for succeeding. He closed his eyes willing himself away from his ardent thoughts of closing the gap between them.

"Me too" Alec replied carefully, and turned his head away, eyes still closed. Trust Jace to really try his self control.

They sat on the grass together, sharing the silence and the frustration for some more time.

Finally Jace got up on his feet and reached out his hand towards Alec. "Come on. Let's get back to training".

Alec took his hand and got pulled up to his feet. He tried to joke hoping his voice sounded casual "Look who's eager to train today! Now this is a surprise"

"Actually, I might do something stupid if we don't start moving" He paused briefly to note Alec's startled expression. Good, that meant Alec knew what he was talking about And continued "Besides you get pretty cranky without a good workout… And when am I not serious about training?" Jace joked as they started to walk towards the start line again.

Alec recovered from Jace's new found boldness. He knew Jace was going to keep the banter up because he always had to have the last word. But he wasn't one with clever retorts. So he decided to steer safe and only acknowledged the last part "Okay, let see if you beat me this time then".

Jace grinned. He knew exactly how nervous he was making Alec feel. He could feel it through their bond. So he decided to spare Alec, "You are on".

By 7 o clock, both Parabatai were left gasping on the ground. They decided to go back indoors and work on other aspects of their training. They also decided it was a draw, because although Jace could not get up after the 25th round, he had covered more ground than Alec after his 30th.

They decided to practice the next day and Alec headed for the boxing ring, while Jace headed towards the fencing arena.

After a gruelling training, Alec started back towards his room for a quick shower. He dressed and secured his gear before heading for the kitchen, where he found Jace and Izzy fighting over the last piece of toast. He put some more bread in the toaster and retrieved a few apples from a fruit basket. Cutting them into pieces and putting them on a plate, he slid it onto the table.

Izzy was now making a passionate speech about her difficult life as a sister under Jace, who was munching on the prized toast.

Alec sighed as he slid another plate with toast towards them. Izzy absently grabbed one off the plate and continued her discourse.

Alec made himself busy making scrambled eggs. He set the plate on the table and pulled a chair to join his siblings whose argument had somehow shifted from toast to dragon demons.

Alec finished his plate to realise his siblings had emptied 'even his' plate of scrambled eggs, while the apples were untouched. He got up to make some more and absently retorted "Those apples better be gone before I get back". There were brief protests but Alec ignored them.

By the time Alec got back to the table, the apples were gone and Izzy was pushing her chair back to get up sating something about a dress and shoes.

Alec pulled his tab towards himself, and went over his assignments for the day. His day was going to be busy, and he was on duty later that night with Izzy. Satisfied he flicked to the latest updates from Idris while finishing his breakfast.

Suddenly a plate of unwashed whole 2 apples were thrust in front of him. Alec started.

"Those better be gone before I get back" Jace mocked (in at least what he imagined an Alec-voice). Obviously Alec didn't get it. So Jace sighed in defeat, putting his hands up in the air and walked out of the kitchen defeated. Alec though he heard him say something along the lines of 'can be so dense'. Alec wisely concluded he did not want to know how Jace was insulting him and focused on finishing the food and putting all of their plates away.

He joined his siblings at the control room where they were going to be briefed by the returning shadow hunters from the previous night. He discussed assignments with a few of his fellows and was making his way to the front of the crowd, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text message.

'I am back at 10 tonight. Don't eat. I will bring dinner. Your room'. It was from Jace.

Alec smiled as he was vaguely aware of Jace's eyes on him from across the room.

'Perfect. Stay safe.' He hesitated… Then added 'Love you'. He flipped the phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket. Would he get a reply? Why was he being so childish? Was he trying to sense Jace's movements from the corner of his eyes? Come on Alec!

Another buzz in his pocket. Alec's heart beat a little louder. He flipped his phone out. 'Love you too'.

Alec smiled. It was going to be another great day.


End file.
